We casted our 4th floor today and reached the Top after almost a year of starting work. I am hitting my target date on 31st Dec 09 and want to see all that is possible being achieved by then.
Its really getting to speed up or to hold back time. On the domestic front i need the date to move faster that is going to land my wife in the safer zone for the new member to arrive. On the professional front how i pray i could hold back on time to see things materialize the way it was conceived. Whilst all around seem pretty ok with the speed however it leaves me a bit agonized to think on not hitting the date as promised.
Perhaps its best to let the time move at its pace. For all good that is in store , we humans just continue the journey with the good will and hard work , which is perhaps all that we have in hands.
Cheers. Look forward to a happy Christmas.
Im in a bad because i miss my mom a lot I haventt had time to perpare myself for her going to iraq yet and im not sure how its going to go the day she leaves to go to iraq i know im gonna cry but what can i say i mean come on my moms going to iraq she may not come back i dont wanna put it that way but its true shes going out of country for a year shes going to war anything can happen over there you never know whats gonna happen over there i know i need to tell her that im finnishing school in poyen but im scared that shell get med at me because she has lost 3 of her kids now i dont wanna live with her and ill know shell be really�upset i just dont know what to do or say because i dont want her worring while shes over there shes going to need to be stress free while shes in iraq but if i tell her that means well be getting money from her so well be able to move into our house because shell be giving him money for childsupport and for me but its just so confusing im always stuck in the middle of a problem and dont know how to solve it i hate bein inthe middle of problems because it stress meout big time it always does then all my friends think im mad at them but im just stressed out sometimes i hate my life!!!!!!!
So, it's been another boring, tiring, exhausting, and pretty exciting monday for me. Usually its just a monday where i go to school,do work, go home, and�occasionally go to elegantes to get a peanut butter cookie. Anyways, well my health conscious is taking over me again and its getting worse plus my mom wont bring me to the doctor =[. I want an answer already to ease my suffering mind. My mom told me thats he wouldnt be able to take me to the doctor until January lucky me. Whatever, i might as well face the truth or maybe its not the truth -_- =. O.K so, today was pretty interesting. My face was looking tanner then ever, BLAH. English went pretty good for me except for the fact that i didnt study for my quiz that i forgot i had so, i was completely fucked. I think i might've gotten around the 80's since we only had to memorize 10 words and i did pretty good i remembered 8 of them. So, after english spanish was super boring. studio art was the same where Taylor talked talked talked talked about her drinking and partying and Darrick well..whatever he does on his weekends and Griffin wasnt there AGAIN. Study hall was pretty fun i must say since i actually had someone that wasnt trying to make me feel stupid AHEM jessica. Karen was there and she actually made me feel...hmm whats the word? oh, wanted. thats what i love about Karen she could just make my day without her even realizing that i even needed her to do that but, shes not my savior with a golden heart just there for me when i need atleast some warmth in my heart. So, I talked to James today and well..it was finally an on-going conversation that ended like whats up? nothing much you? nothing much. oh cool. It actually went on for a pretty long time. He works a lot it seems like since hes a firefighter kinda scary though, risking your lives every minute of the day, well not technically, i dont know. So, theres this kid Russel, well hes not gonna lie pretty interesting. He's quiet, mysterious, and hes cute. The only time i really talked to him was when he asked me for a pencil and he looked totally not interested. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. the only thing really on my mind is this stupid condition i may or may not have its looking like i dont have it. since i looked at my moms scalp and it looked exactly like mine. OH MAN. i cant type anymore im just done. i need to go to the doctor.
So it's finally christmas time <3 And it's been a long year that passed by in an instant. So much has happen during this year.. Great Things, as well As Horrible things. But you know you gotta make the best out of everything no matter how tough it is. So this is the first christmas i spend without my mother. and it;s been about 6 weeks since she passed away. I lie to myself and say she went on a very long vacation hoping that she'd be back.But i cnt lie to myself like this you know..� Yesterday we went to go decorate her tomb, and it ended up looking very pretty. I just hope she's happy and knows that we will try our best to continue living.. i know its going to be hard but everything I do is not only gona be for me. but everything i do is gonna be for my mom. I wana make her proud, and Mommy, Merry christmas. :) I know it was ur fav holiday and i hope your having a great time in heaven <33 Watch over me please. I love you with all my heart :) �Rest in peace Mamacita<3 :]
So, my life is going pretty good right now. I have tough days but i get over them. On wednesday is 3 months with my boyfriend:) and I can say i never been happier with anyone hehe. He just makes me feel so special and I really do like him alot. I cant say love yet but i like him sooo much! <33 :) he makes me happy.. !� I finally cleared out my feelings and I do wana be with him. I dont want anyone else, hes been there for me thru so much.. he just encourages me and i love him for that.. We have our fights, but we have been trying to fight less and we have.. But you know.. sometimes i have my doubts of being with him.. But im crazy.. Hes perfect what else can i ask for :)
It's winter break, today was the first day.. ohh and omg on saturday i went to some theater in glendale to go see the gay men choir <33 and oh my� they sing perfect ! i love how they sing and its cool how they raised money just for our school to go watch them perform!! I feel loved hehe.. I took a pic with some kute gay guy hehe and it was a great day hehe.
But yeah ima go eat my typical mexican breakfast lol. beans hahaha..
ttyl <33
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